Julia Griffin
Strange Hero
He called himself an atheist on forms,
Repelled and bored by every kind of faith:
Conscience's chills, doubt's itches, panic's storms,
The grovel to what seemed, at best, a wraith,
A sense-defying "Verily he saith";
And therefore he did not expect at all
To find himself, post-mortem, in a hall,
With shouting, sweating warriors all round,
Swilling down mead and gnawing chunks of boar.
Nordic, he estimated, from the sound,
Though what he heard was less like speech and more
Like blasting horns. Great pools of boarish gore
Were mopped by strapping girls in fighting gear.
He blinked and shuddered. "How did I get here?"—
When, from a throne of iron, came a cry:
"Warriors, rise! It's time to ride and kill!
The boar Sæhrímnir's risen! He must die!"
Our hero, feeling both afraid and ill,
Sat frozen on his axe-hewn chair, until
A buxom maiden pushed him; then he spoke,
Trembling: "What is this, please? Some kind of joke?"
Loosing a booming laugh, she banged his back
(He nearly choked) and pulled his ear: "Small friend,
Rejoice! You've earned this glory!"—second whack—
"You died in battle! Made a hero's end!"
Though sensibly reluctant to offend,
He shook his head. "Miss, no. I'm something lesser—
A simple university professor…"
She chuckled. "You've forgotten how you died!"
And suddenly a ghastly image burned
Before his eyes: he heard the screaming, tried
To hold a door, groped for his cell 'phone, turned
Wildly from room to door to room. "You earned
The big reward! The everlasting gala
Of feasts and hunting! Welcome to Valhalla!"
But he was lost, back in that devil-place
That was his classroom, where his students hid,
Facing another student's vacant face,
And holding out one hand. What either did
After, he could not see: a kind of lid
Concealed it. He looked up and whispered: "So—
I saved their lives?" She shrugged. "I wouldn't know:
We don't keep track of ordinary types;
All I can tell you is, they've not come here.
But come on! Streak your face with bloody stripes!
Tonight, there'll be a feast—the best all year!"
The dead professor bowed his head. "My dear—
This is an honour clearly, I can tell—
But do you think there might be room in Hel?
It is, I've read, a place where one might sit;
A home of which no mighty man will boast;
A vale of shadows, but discreetly lit.
You say there's famine; I believe that's toast
And Earl Grey tea. Upon that quiet coast,
I'll rest in peace, and if my students care
To come to me, we'll read together there."
Unworthy Takes from Elsinore
For who would bear […] the spurs
That patient merit of the unworthy takes…? Hamlet III i
The mind that has an eye should learn to blink.
A handsaw from a hawk is quite a way.
The act of fear may not be what you think.
Denmark's a prison with a lot to drink.
The owl's a baker's daughter, so they say.
The mind that has an eye should learn to blink.
What's Hecuba to you—is there a link?
A dead dog in the sun will have his day.
The act of fear may not be what you think.
Something is rotten. Should I raise a stink?
For O, for O, the hobby-horse says Nay!
The mind that has an eye should learn to blink.
It's not alone my cloak that calls for ink.
Imperial Caesar's dead and turned to clay.
The act of fear may not be what you think.
To be or not to be? I'm on the brink;
Thrift, thrift, ha, ha, buzz buzz! Give o'er the play!
The mind that has an eye should learn to blink.
The act of fear may not be—what you think.
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| Avila Gray is a self-taught illustrator, specialising in fine ink pen and watercolour paintings. Avi is based in Sydney, Australia, where she operates a stationery business called Erlenmeyer, selling art prints, greeting cards, playing cards, stickers and colouring books. Erlenmeyer is also the name of Avi's storytelling animal kingdom; a futuristic utopia where sentient creatures live in harmony across 12 cities on Earth. All of the compositions from her illustrative range depict snapshots from this story; her body of work shows the animal characters that colour the Erlenmeyer world, as well as their culture, values and how they live. Avi has been selling her illustrations and products since 2014 and became a resident at Australia’s iconic Rocks Market for many years, developing a loyal customer base and social media following. After several years of trade shows in Sydney and London, her designs can now be found in more than 80 shops worldwide. Many of Avi's designs are licensed by the international greeting card company, Moonpig.
For additional information, please visit www.erlenmeyer.com.au.
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